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“Like, man, is this pain ever going to go away? It was so consistent, the pain was so consistent.
“I was just suffering, right? So, I’m just like, man, I would rather not feel this than feel this.”
He added: “I just would encourage people, like, ‘Hey, if you’re feeling lonely, talk about it. Say it out loud.’ There’s a freedom in that. I could have avoided a lot of pain.”
In a lengthy post in September 2019, he said: “It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning with the right attitude when you are overwhelmed with your life, your past, job, responsibilities, emotions, your family, finances, your relationships.
“When it feels like there’s trouble after trouble after trouble. You start foreseeing the day through lenses of ‘dread’ and anticipate another bad day.I am fortunate to have people in life that continue to encourage me to keep going.
“I started doing pretty heavy drugs at 19 and abused all of my relationships. I became resentful, disrespectful to women, and angry.
“I became distant to everyone who loved me, and I was hiding behind, a shell of a person that I had become. I felt like I could never turn it around.
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